If it's any comfort to you, I've done this, you're not alone. I went through a phase where I'd OD once a week for a period of maybe 3-4 months. Sometimes I'd end up in hospital, other times I would wake up 24 hours later. Ending up on a ventilator in intensive care brought me back to reality.

I'm not really sure why I was doing it. It wasn't to get high as I would usually end up being knocked out very quickly, skipping any euphoria or ****ed up feeling.

It helped being put on a depot (long lasting injection) of antipsychotic meds instead of being given tablets. This may be an option for you, you should ask your team. I am now ok and can be trusted with tablets.

I got over this phase fairly quickly so you may too.

Stay safe.