Hi Paula,
Thanks a lot for sharing your experience. Perhaps, in addition to personal issues and features, there are social and economic causes configuring your depression. You could tell me "it does not matter, I suffer anyway", yet I think that looking at the factors underneath your depression from an ample point of view is relevant. One on hand, to avoid excessive self- punishment or fatalism ("I am worthless", "my fate is ill"). On the other hand, to identify possible steps towards improving your current status.
You are young and that can be an advantage. Of course, when we are at our lowest peak of depression, we feel we can do nothing to improve. But, I promise, that feeling is not eternal.
I found this place to be a good platform to learn from others, and to get support. Life is hard, living with depression is harder, but there is hope.
Sending you a hug