Thank you, glad to find a place where i can talk.

I currently don't see any doctors or psychiatrists. Also i don't take any active medication for my disorders.

I don't even have any friends either that i can turn to for help in assessing what steps i can take to fix my problems right now. I've become so distrusting of others that I've left myself completely isolated.

I haven't even talked to anyone in my family other than my mother in the past 4 months.

I feel that moving might be my best choice right now. But i am paranoid about it. It's risky, and it's frightening.

Half the time i spend my days even wondering if what i'm seeing around me is real or not. It's like everything around me has become so corrupted that i can't even asses if what i'm feeling is real.

The people who i considered my friends have betrayed me recently by trying to get ahead in this world by using me. Some people who i cared for in my family recently used me for their own needs. And that woman i mentioned just cut me out every aspect of her life.

It's like i'm on a sinking ship!

How can people expect me to trust them when everything they do goes against their words. It's hard not to be apathetic! And i just can't control the indifference anymore.