Is it just emptiness. Emotions I used to have are just gone. Is it just a part of growing up and being older to become cold and indifferent to everything? People getting hurt and things dying. I don't seem to care and it bewilders me every time. I think to myself

Where are the emotions?

My emotions seem to consist of. Nothing, Jealousy and maybe a bit of depression but not so much as of late. I seem to have a hard time displaying the appropriate emotions. I feel so fake.

I buried a dead baby goat today yet. I was laughing. Laughing and making light of stuff while holding a corpse. I couldn't understand myself. It's not the time to laugh you're not supposed to laugh. I think I was upsetting my dad. I try to stop myself yet- If I am supposed to give someone emotional comfort I can't. Honestly inside I felt like I didn't care. Maybe at one point I would have felt different and more afraid about touching dead bodies but I wasn't today.

Everything is just an act. People who show emotions are just acting.

I don't know.

I think it just startles me to not have the appropriate emotions for situations. That I just seem to not care anymore.

I'm broken.