I would suggest a third possibility: you are reacting to dealing with a life partner who spent five days being drunk with you.

Would you need relief from him if he spent five days sober with you?

No doubt the past has an influence on how you feel now. But even a person with no abusive past whatsoever can quite reasonably feel anxious/fear/dread/nerves strung tight when their life partner stays home drunk for five days.

I think that jelly-bean's suggestion of alanon is on point and excellent. And in addition: how likely is it that he would be willing to get help at AA or with an alcohol counselor?