Jinny,
I can empathize totally, since my marriage of 20 years was like that from the honeymoon onward! I'm ashamed to admit it, but that was the situation in which I found myself.

I found myself not loving my husband from very early in the marriage, realizing what a mistake I had made, but because we had a daughter within two years, I stayed till she left for college, at which time I moved out also! Never regretted it for a minute afterwards.

I'm not suggesting that you should consider such a move yourself, but I do know how it makes you feel...wanting intimacy and closeness when there is none there!

Love,
Patty