first thing just the fact u are worried about it and feel this

U ARE NOT A TERRIBLE MOM

the teeth thing so what they are falling out in less then 3 years and the permits come in those are the ones u need to worry (baby teeth are just that baby teeth ) and foods with high acid lvls in them can do that too teeth (fruits soda some types of meals)

if they look at u weirdly say i spoil my kid he can have some candy while the baby teeth are still in (the other mothers kid hears that and well her judgmental attitude will pay her back)

next time u need to go into the hospital take your phone u can use it to tie into the wifi for the hospital then see your kid on skype (assuming u have a smart phone) .......if they allow u to use the phone they should allow u to use a smartphone for a talk with your 4 year old kid .............that way sees u hears voice sees u are ok ........kiddies just want mommy to be happy and safe so they have their mommy

before u go in next time make some recordings of u singing or reading fav books so while u are in at night time they can listen to it

as for the other thing the hitting ...........it could be he is mad at his brain and wants it to do what they want so he hits it (negative reinforcement self induced)....try teaching him it is ok to mess up as long as u learn from it and keep trying your best....i know he is four but something u know that makes him do it to him u have him work on it when u see it coming hug him and look at what went wrong .........help him and then reward him

as for the yelling thing my mother had the power of ***** i sawl her make grown men cry using just words ...someone would bully her or one of us kids and the power magnified...even my father was smart enough just to say yes dear when times where like that

the kid might be mad for some of teen years but once gets older will understand and say sorry for being a horrible kid .........thanks to my mom i got a little of that power they do not cry just try to hit me then i defend myself so in the end u being a strong lady not willing to take crap is not a bad thing at all infact it is a good thing

what u do not understand is your son will marry/date/fall in love with a women alot like u just like daughters marry guys like fathers

so be yourself ......and as for the rest of the ppl u think are judging u tell them all to kiss your lilly white @ss( i am white so that is why i said that ) .....your son is happy healthy and not a serial killer so u are doing a dang good job

stay in his corner ...love him ....be yourself and u are the best mommy in the world to him