Quote:
Originally Posted by Just keep swimming
There was some philosopher who said something like, I'm only smarter than others because at least I know I'm not smart. It may have been Socrates. I guess everyone is a cliche. Don't you think? Can you bear that? Is it OK to be as ordinary as everyone else? I remember once thinking, is this it? Is this all there is to my life? This is going to be a pretty boring life. I think that's the stage you go through right before you start the journey to find your stride, to find your grove. Anyhow, I like your thoughts. What did you think about my body dismorphia reply to the "I might be simple" thread?
Anyhow, I'll stop trying to argue that you're probably cool and special. (Even though you're pretty good at arguing that you're not, which is special in itself.) But I was wondering, what do you want to be like? Have you ever met or read about someone who had the characteristics you would like to have?
Have you ever done anything you felt a little bit of pride about? Is there any small thing that you could accomplish that you would consider a success? And for goodness sake, what's your major? How did you choose it? I hope it's something that will allow you to use your skills and gifts. (I know, I know, you don't have any skills and gifts.) 
If I was doing therapy and you were my client, I suspect that I would look forward to our discussions. (Yes, I know, they would be terribly cliche, but I would enjoy them anyhow.)  |
In my perspective you haven't argued a word. You've been nothing but cordial and supportive and I'm sorry if I made you feel unwanted or if I came across as ungrateful.
As for body dysmorphia I feel I know how dumb I am, I have proof. With body dysmorphia I'm not sure how a person can disprove "you weigh 100 pounds and are alarmingly below average in BMI" (I'm not attempting to belittle a serious medical condition, I'm just not certain how one would go about disproving it) but I have evidence that I'm a loser.
Anyway yes I've done things I've taken pride in but I am almost immediately brought to bear with my hubris in thinking myself superior. Any time I take the slightest bit of pride the universe seems to take awareness of this and I am nearly immediately shown why I'm not allowed to think that anything I ever did might have been sort of passable and either I **** up in spectacular fashion that negates anything special I did or someone does the exact same thing except with half the effort and double the quality, dwarfing my efforts. I do take pride in things, I just don't like to as I am a magnet for divine retribution and self humiliation.