Tell him that he is making you repent for his ex liaisons' "sins", which is unfair, because you did not commit them. Further, tell him that his doing what he is doing constitutes a pre-emptive strike in a passive sense, and therefore means that he does not trust you to be a safe and a caring partner for him. Lastly, explain that it is not OK for you - for you, it is not hard to get another boyfriend who will be affectionate the way you desire it, so it would not make sense for you to continue in this relationship you are currently having. Because your bf said that he does not want to BOTHER with an affectionate relationship, he effectively gave you an ultimatum, but you somehow did not understand that fact. Had he said that he had had prior hurts that inhibit the expression of his affection but he hopes that with time things would get better and this and that, then this would not have been an ultimatum, but since he said that he would not bother, it was. And you silently accepted it. From the time he said till now, you have been living with acceptance of his ultimatum in his eyes, since you did not say a word. Not acknowledging this fact and starting to talk about it out of the blue would be weird, so I would acknowledge this fact to your own advantage, as evidence showing that you cannot maintain this relationship unless he changes.

So I would say or write sth along these lines: "Remember how in July you told me that because of some baggage of yours you would not bother with affectionate love?..

Since then, I have received a few token "I love you too's" that sounded so robotic that I might as well get an app that occasionally tells me "I love you too". I kind of wanted to be in a relationship with a human man and not a man. Not sure if this is too much to ask...

Anyway, it has been 5 months since and I have observed my feelings and wants and now can tell you with confidence that I would not live in this kind of relationship. I have given it a good honest try and no, this is not a good deal for me by any means. Also how is it fair to me that be answerable for whatever baggage you acquired before I even came along? This is ridiculous.

I am not giving you an ultimatum because I realize that the affectionate button is not a simple switch on - switch off one, but I can tell you that your continuing with the attitude of not bothering being affectionate with me would mean that soon I will not bother being with you at all. For a little while I can last if I see effort on your part, because I do realize that you have been hurt and do not really know how to proceed, and, mistakes and oopsies are totally excusable; what is not acceptable is the attitude of not bothering. Believe me, I am perceptive and will be able to tell an earnest attempt at showing me affection from another robotic "I love you too".

By next July I will decide whether this is good for me - that seems like a fair term, all things considered - and I am sure you yourself will be far happier if you manage to open the floodgates of your feelings and let them flow - that is, if you have those feelings, and if you do not have them, then for me there is no point in staying with you, nor is it good for you, so we should part on amicable terms.

Oh, and when you said that being affectionate always ends up horrible for you, you insinuated that I would not be a safe and caring gf for you, which I did not appreciate in the least.

I hope you see that this is reasonable, and, if you do not plan to change, just tell me calmly and we will part our ways sooner rather than later avoiding further hurt."