I am not quitting my job keeping my mouth shut. I want to feel I have some control on my life. No one has or will listen. I feel so angry I am going to do this, but what am I supposed to do. Tired of being the neglect the child in no boy. If any of them went through what I go through they wouldn't survive a day. I'm ****ing tired of them belittling me trying to make me seem small. I am messaging for the pretend to feel someone loves me and listens. All I got I might jump in front of a cat if I'm inpatient or a train but so far in starving myself sounds good enough. I'm exhausted beyond exhausted so telling me how should act and feel and tough love is the reason I'm hear. My death will be quiet it will be silent. I'm just appreciating all the small things before I do it.