Grand Poohbah
Member Since Sep 2013
Location: Pugare
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Dec 12, 2014 at 01:01 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lauliza
I'm so sorry you're in so much pain. Maybe it would be a good idea to address it with him, although I understand it's easier said than done. I doubt he has any clue of what's going on inside your head, no idea that what he said affected you this way.
Sometimes when I read posts about therapists and caring, I feel like the term care is confused with love. There are different levels of caring for most people and I do believe that most Ts care. Some Ts are more caring than others but on the whole I'd find it hard to believe that one wouldn't care about their clients. If what you're really talking about is love then that is different and more subjective.
I think it's important to see how black and white your thinking is right now. It's rarely all or nothing when it comes to relationships - personal or professional. People are so much more multidimensional than that. Your T doesn't get paid to care about you, he gets paid to provide therapy. He cares because you're his client, he likes you and wants you to succeed. Caring isn't really a conscious choice a lot of the time, at least from my perspective. People in helping professions (and many others) care because when you spend time talking with someone you build a relationship, and because of that you care. I think its only natural and can't imagine not caring. It's true the intensity differs with clients and Ts, but they still care.
I hope you can see your situation from this perspective and even talk to him. I think he'd want to know how his words affected you rather than trying to hide it from him.
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You're right, my thinking is very black and white now. About whether I meant caring or love I think I mean love, and he quite possibly doesn't love me, legitimately it's possible no one loves me or ever has. I'm sure he cares on some level, but there's a range of caring. I care about my clients, but not much, not to the extent they're on my mind more than when I'm working for them.
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