A therapist I saw for a few months a couple of years ago told me that I should stop focusing on the fact that I was not getting published, and perhaps I should quit doing research altogether. That was incredibly frustrating, because it was such a demeaning thing to say and because she clearly did not get who I am. I stopped seeing her pretty soon after that, and found a therapist who is a better match for me.

So I think I understand your frustration here. For me, it was painless to quit therapy with that person, but you clearly have a rapport with your therapist and so it might be a better idea to try to get her to see how destructive (or at any rate not constructive) her comments are. You want to be pushed to do what you have the potential to do. Good for you. That is something your T should be willing to work with you on.