Dating has always been very VERY difficult for me, because most people tend to not want to talk to me, let alone be friends or something more. I guess when you're lonely, you give off this sort of vibe that repels people for some reason.

Anyways, I just had my 31st birthday, and now I'm as depressed as ever about being so alone. I'm also sick and tired of the stupid sayings people keep telling me to try and cheer me up. They annoy me more so than anything and make things worse. I'm talking about sayings like "You need to love yourself before you can love someone else" or "Love will come along when you least expect it".

I feel like I'm running out of time as my biological clock is ticking and my mother's side of the family is known for early menopause in the females. My mother had early menopause, her three sisters all had early menopause, and as far as anyone can tell, Grandma had it too (although she was a very proper woman and never spoke about such things).

I know this sounds incredibly weird, and doesn't make much sense, but I don't know for sure if I want kids or not, and want to keep that avenue open. So, I want to be married, or at least be in a relationship in the next 9 years, until I reach the age where either I'm too old to have kids, or I'm no longer physically able to due to early menopause.

I've tried online dating, and even wound up in a relationship, but it ended up a failure because the guy felt we made better "friends" than lovers. He and I lost touch shortly after we broke up. I also figured he was using me to get over his ex fiance, as a rebound girl, and when someone better came along, he dumped me for her.

Anyways, I've had poor luck with online dating, and spent more money on it than I care to say, or am willing to deal with.

Other avenues I've tried all have failed too. In my job, all the guys are either married or too old, or something. So that's definitely a dead end. I've made connections with guys on forums, only to have them always deal me the same damn line "I'm not ready for a relationship". So yeah.....I don't hold out much hope for forum romance.

I'm tired of always being let down, hurt, or used. I deserve to be happy and have a man at my side. I'm just at a loss as to where said man can be found. I'm tired of the excuses, the "I'm not ready" BS, and the manipulation.

Why does dating suck so damn much?