I wonder if either you are comparing this relationship to all the bad ones in the past and finding it to be more similar than you would have liked, or if you are upset about the time you spent in bad relationships in the past. Has he given you reason not to trust him? You just don't sound happy, and I don't know enough about you or your situation to put my finger on it. Is there something that you would like to be different about your life these days? I'm just getting that you need a change of some kind. What would you like to be doing with your life if there were no limitations? What goals are you working towards?

I know, you were writing about your relationship. How does that fit with your personal goals? It seems to me that your unhappiness has more to do with you than with him. I wish I knew how to help you. I just know that there is something. SI isn't the issue - it's an expression of your discomfort.

<font color=orange>"If a light beckons to you, follow it. If it leads you into the quagmire, you'll probably find your way out of it again; but if you don't follow it, you'll be plagued for the rest of your life by the thought that perhaps it was your star." Friedrich Hebbet</font color=orange>