I was going to say something similar re 'care'; what is care? I care about the old man across the street but that's not the kind of care I want from my therapist. Perhaps it is simply about love, plain and simple (or not, as the case may be).

I did have a similar session recently Petra, and I think for me 2 big things were going on... 1) I was/am very angry and experiencing a lot of hate towards him and 2) I don't feel safe enough to express how I feel in the session (I think probably due the holidays coming up). That's a simplistic view, I'm also thinking black & white at the moment.

Perhaps you're waiting to feel safe enough, to express your negative feelings towards him?? Hope it gets easier for you.