Thanks for your replies guys. A lot of good discussion and points raised. I mostly like the idea of "being present." I just want to say that, I don't expect my T to be more than a professional to me, or reveal feelings that aren't relevant to our interactions. I'm not asking her to care if she doesn't, I want anything BUT that. I also don't want her to hide it if I'm hard to like. Her real opinions vs my perceptions help me learn about my stuff, and I need to hear it, not just let it mull around in her head where she won't say it. I just want her to be human, and honest, in a professional framework. Therapy wouldn't help me if it was me the exhibitionist and her the voyeur. Nor would it help me if it was me, the insecure and lost, and her, who points the way. It was that for a long time and it didn't help me that much until we were both real and vulnerable, then I started progressing so fast. I am a human being. I can't be fixed by a person who won't be just as human with me. Friends are great, if you have great friends, but they don't offer the same safety and commitment to your issues. I can't process stuff if I'm doing it with even a shred of guilt for taking up someone's time.

I guess it's to each their own.

My T agreed that this seems to be what is working for me, so I feel better.