Been feeling low for a while. Told T today that I always feel I can't just be depressed, that I wish I could be allowed to be that way in company, and not treated different or asked what's wrong, just allowed to 'be'!.

I added that I've felt my entire life that a law had been written forbidding me from feeling down.
T said, I think that was your adoptive mother not allowing you to Mourn the loss of your birth mother.

When she said that, I made the connection. I said, I never knew as a child that was what I was feeling! I just knew I had to hide how I felt.

Looking back now, and remembering those dark times, putting what T said to them, Makes sense now.