Thank you for the suggestion (Alanon) but I checked out the site before coming here and it's a format that I'm not interested in.

Bill, yes I need relief when I spend a lot of time with him sober. He is very talkative and he likes for us to do everything (almost) together, so it's hard for me to get peace and quiet. In the summer, it was better because he spent many hours outside gardening -- though he did want me to go out with him most of the time.

I feel anxious, etc. around ANYONE drunk -- my brother, father, son-in-law, etc. So I see it as my problem, something I need to deal with and get a grip on by possibly changing my attitude or trying to learn new ways to think about alcoholics. They are not all going to hurt me.

Also, he would never get help for his drinking problem. He calls himself a 'functional alcoholic' and he is when it comes to his job or getting chores done around the home.
He does stay sober when we travel -- he never drives while under the influence, he is adamant about that.
He mainly drinks at home when he says 'it's time to relax.' Most of the time, he is very funny/charming and we have fun together but, lately, it's getting on my nerves.

PS -- if I post in the addictions forum, do I just copy/paste this post there? Or make a new one?