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Originally Posted by Mid-Life-Larry
Hey yumeikui, I find a lot of things disgusting... Escargot for example, it doesn't mean that I want others to stop eating it. But if someone invites me for a Snail Casserole... expect me to say "No thank you".
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Point taken.
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Also, I used "arthritis" more as a synonym or a catch-all for any and all of the other crap that comes with middle age (for MOST people -- not ALL of course, but most) -
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Even as a "catch-all", beyond being a consideration for all people looking for relationships - as in considering what burdens the other person might bring to the table, it's just kind of overly generalizing when you lump a group of people together for any reason, whether based on age, ethnicity, physical specifics or otherwise. Not saying in some cases they are not valid reasons to avoid a relationship but just saying, really generally speaking I wouldn't write off a relationship with someone based on the age alone with those assumptions in mind. Depends on the couple, I still stand by that idea. I wouldn't go as far as saying it's entirely wrong or right to be more specific, but that it really depends on the people involved.
Addressing your points directly, if the younger person is attracted to the other person and loves them, age is likely not a factor as to why they are. If they are dating them (both directions) based on the fact that they are younger or older, as in if it's a big reason they chose them, then there is a problem. If an older person chooses solely mates that are +X number of years younger, it's a bad thing too. What I'm saying is age, for reasons of excluding others or including them is really a bad thing. Choose a mate that you're attracted to, get along with, love, and all the other factors and age will become a thing that isn't even an issue in any way.
I dunno if I make any sense, but just trying to clarify.
with physical problems all I'm saying is, yes if your chosen mate suffers from arthritis, or other physical ailments, it is up to you whether it's worth the risk and burden to get into a relationship. We as outsiders are not in the right to say in a general manner that it's not "fair" to the younger person for this reason. Fair is up to whether they find to be overly burdening them or not.
This rule really applies to anything, in my mind. Children, sickness, social groups, attractiveness... etc. All I'm saying is if it's ok with them and it's not "illegal", clearly no one should judge if it's right or wrong.