Am pretty frustrated that I remain in depression despite ECT and therapy. I really think if I found a job that would help immensely. I spend too much time feeling unproductive, bored and lonely.

Thought I would volunteer at the Humane Society until a job comes through so I have a feeling of accomplishment. Made a call and the next orientation isn't until early January.

As Rose wrote above, I feel like I'm just going through the motions of life. Not much makes me feel happy. I have to force myself to do everything. Not really looking forward to Christmas because I will just have to paint on a smile and have to fight through fatigue as evening wears on.

I just deserve more than this. I have suffered for long enough.