So I have been here for some time now and have made mistakes on this forum. I reacted in a way that was against rules and for that I have to pay for it. I also recognize that my actions were solely based on allowing the same old same old come through and that is not what this is about. This is a place to meet others like me, to understand that many of us are quite the same. This helps in making strides for one another to hopefully move forward rather than the directions we seem to know best. I was also quick to blame the moderators as with falling in line with my disorder, it is never my fault. The truth is I did it to myself, I allowed myself to think that I am right and all else wrong. I apologize for breaking the rules and hope that soon I can begin to post again in an acceptable, helpful way. (and rather challenge others, putting those who I feel I need to on ignore) The back and forths do not help anyone except some others who find it enjoyable. This post is not easy to write as I am used to just saying screw all before giving in and yet I need to know that admitting when wrong is a large step in a direction I keep speaking of traveling.