Sometimes the harder I look for things the harder they are to find or see. At the same time giving no effort is counterproductive to success. Some feel things happen at the right place, or right time. Some believe there is no predetermination and we create our fate. In the end, the more I give up on myself, or my dreams, the further they slip away. when I become fanatic about them I tend to become desperate and hasty. I have been in different relationships. Some chase, some instant, or at least practically instant, but I think there is always a mild chase phase. On one hand that is a memory in good relationships, on the other it can turn into a constant need for the chase. Men are kind of primal when it comes to love and the hunt is part of it. Women love to be adored. Any relationship without any chase becomes complacent. Men appear to have lost interest, women fell unwanted. Everything in life requires effort, patience, balance, and ingenuity. My question is, how do two people get to know each other without a chase of some sort? The longest relationship (and worst) that I have had was one without any real chase, short of during breakups and fights. And in the end it took me over 10 years to realize we never really knew each other, we never even had a real relationship. Just a cohabitation.