Hello CherryBerry: A couple of things occur to me here. First of all is simply that depression, feelings of worthlessness, etc. tend to be cyclical. Plus, in your case, you've just started high school. Perhaps you're in a different facility, with many new faces. Almost everything may be unfamiliar &, to some extent, unpredictable. So it makes sense that would be feeling down. And then, on top of this, it sounds as though you've experienced some unsettling interactions with one of your teachers & some friends recently. Add it all up & it makes for a rather uncomfortable time in your life at the moment.

In general, I would just suggest that it might be worthwhile for you to see a school counselor or a therapist, particularly if you feel uncomfortable sharing this with your family. You write you are faking happiness to cover up insecurities & sadness, & that people think you're narcissistic, but you're stressed. One can only go on living this kind of divided life for so long. At some point (hopefully sooner rather than later) you need to learn how to live from day-to-day as your real self, rather than as the type of person you imagine you need to be for whatever reason. It can take time & professional expertise to achieve this kind of integration. That is one of the main the reasons people see therapists.