It takes work and more than a bit of faith on my part to adopt the feeling that dealing with, and having a diagnosed, MI isn't the end of my world. I am slowly coming to a place not necessarily of "acceptance" that I am "crazy", but at least a place where I don't feel I am limited by society due to it. I'm a bit proud, in kinda a weird way, of the fact that I am fully real-world functional to the extent anyone else is. Sure, I have bad days and spells now and then, when I am less productive or less happy, but they ebb and flow, and everyone has those. To quote a Bon Jovi song, "everybody's broken, it's ok to be a little broken."

I felt, when I was sent to a day hospital program, that "that was it" and all of my rights to choose my own path in life were gone - that I was forever at the mercy of doctors, society, family, who would "put me away" and make all decisions for me, not necessarily in my best interest.

Furthermore, I also was led to believe that there was essentially "no hope", that I had something progressive, debilitating, and horrible, and that the euphamism of "management" was an empty promise.

I don't feel that way now. It has been hard getting even this far, I know I still have further to go, but at least I feel I am making progress. A lot of that is due to finally, after 2 years, almost to the day this started, finding the "right kind" of therapist to help, a trauma specialist who really knows his stuff.

So, better. Not perfect, but better. Eventually maybe I will truly make peace with all of this. It's a goal to work towards.