I don't think I can blame her. I am probably so scary and weird to her that she just doesn't know what else to do to get rid of me. I think it is like that with everyone. Maybe they are too afraid to get rid of me verbally and prefer to use a non-verbal message that I will get soon enough and then take that as my cue to leave them alone from that moment on. I can't blame them, I know that I am not cool enough and just too different for them to accept me. That's an OK enough reason I guess and I can't really expect people to like me. I mean it's not like I deserve their respect or time, I have to earn it, but given everything that's going on, that is probably impossible. I mean who do I really think I am? They don't owe me time or respect. Nobody has to give me anything that they don't want to give.

They are great people, and if I want to be in their space, I need to be great too. I can't expect them to lower themselves down to my level just to make me happy, that's not right.