Jinny...
Since you love him, it's a totally different situation than I was in for 20 long, uinhappy years. Early on, as we rode to work together with the radio on, I heard and identified with Paul Simon's song, "Fifty Ways to Leave Your Lover," "just step out the back, Jack!" thininking to myself...I should do that!
I just posted in the General forum about "Decision-making," and how hard it has been for me over the years.
It's hard to know what to do, or how to handle when you're so unhappy.
Sending positive thoughts!
Love
Patty