Thanks guys for all the insight. I can recall some instances where people (seemingly) jokingly called me a "pain in the arse" but now I realize they really meant it. I could never understand why people were acting they way they were with me.

I read once that how you see the world and the reactions you get from people are a projection of what is going on inside of you. But, in the case of AS/ASD I find an exception to that. It should actually be defined as a projection of what you portray on the outside. I mean, when people have and portray feelings of hate toward me it is not because I hate them inside. Or, when people just don't seem to care or pretend like I don't exist, it's not because I lack empathy for them inside of me. It's because the condition I have is causing me not to be able to SHOW it/EXPRESS it, hence they believe only what they SEE, sum me up as an asshole, and then treat me accordingly. This is one case where I feel "seeing is believing" does not hold.

Inside I am being hurt more than anyone will know, because I crave interaction. And, I can't show that either.