Quote:
Originally Posted by hamster-bamster
That does not make you an abuser. You repeatedly call yourself abusive, but present no evidence to support that categorization of you. I wonder if you live in the world of cognitive distortions yourself, are mildly masochistic personality-wise, or, whether he puts these ideas into your head. I have not been able to figure it out even though I try to keep up with your updates.
Note that your interpreting his paying rent as a sign of his liking you is totally valid, as interpretations go, but is not the only possible, valid interpretation. For example, his paying rent might make him feel that he is keeping his end of the bargain and you are not, sex-wise. Just a thought. Had you lived separately, this would have stripped him of the sense that he is entitled to more, and you would have been more like equals in this relationship, which might then have changed the dynamics of it. Might or might not - without trying, you would not be able to see what happens. Can you afford it?
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I think I abuse him because it's not true love what I feel but he pays for apartments and food etc.
Thats just too hard.
I didn;t understand well what you wrote because it's not my born language and sometimes i don't get what people want to say.
We live separetely. He lives in another town and he asked me to come to him but I don't like driving to another town. I live with parents because I can't pay for my own place and my mother all the time is home so we can't do anything there.
I said that we could spend time together more if he lives in my town. He agreed and got an aparmtment where is no hot water, there is no shower and there is only one room and toilet is one to all the rooms but apartments in my town has very high prices and if wanted normal aparments we should pay for a mounth more then twice.
He thought he will move to my town and work there but he didn;t find a job here so he works there and if he stays in my town he arrives at the morning to his town to work.
At first I thought it's super cool to have our own apartment but it turned to hell. I feel so bored with him. I feel like i waste my time sitting there, I'm active and if I'm at home then I sleep, I even am online most of time from my phone not computer, I hate sitting at home, I have a need to do something productive, i don;t even watch movies or do it twice a halfyear if there is really good movie or if I'm ill etc. He wants to sit home and watch movies and make love.
When he wanted to go to the club (mostly because I like parties but he has never been in clubs) I decided a place where I knew that there will be my friends because I'm bored with him.
My mother asked me does he remind me my father. And the answer is yes. He reminds me my father that's why I hate him, I hate every action he does like my father, my father is that type of guys I would never date.
My boyfriend is trying to be like me. That's so silly. Okay it's okay that he started to like music what I'm listening (I would never like his music and I never listen to this), it's maybe okay that he bought boots and said that he wanted to dress similar style like I (okay I'm goth and hanging out with people who likes metal and maybe he wants to be like them but I don;t care) but he even colored his hair like me! I always said I hate when boys color his hair esspeciaaly in unnatural colors, he looks like emo boy. He says all the time- I want to be like you. Is it normal?
He is so weird so I don't know what to think about him and his feelings. I said to him- you are like a child. He replied- I think you are more like a child then me and I said- yes we are children yet.
He said at our first date that Im like a girl from his dreams. When he said he will leave me if we wouldn;t have sex, he also said- okay I would find another girl, I'm sure I couldn't find more attractive girl but I would find another one who is less attractive. he says so often- I like that you are so thin, I dont like fat girls like my ex (she isn't fat at all but isn't very, very thin). It makes me feel like I'm a doll for him.
Sorry I wrote so much. i feel like it helps when I talk to you.So big thank you
