You are a good mom because you are seeking help for your son and because you are concerned about him. Bad moms don't care enough to seek help or be concerned. I certainly know how you feel though. I feel like a terrible mother also some of the time. My son has the same issues as your son and has been diagnosed with autism. I don't believe it sometimes though, I think his behavior and diet is just from neglect (in reality, I don't neglect my children I am just not always emotionally available to them). Either way, having him evaluated was the best thing I could have done because now he has speech, behavioral, and ot therapists and they had had a major impact on his behavior, development, and life. (BTW, I can't even take my son to the dentist because I know there is no way he will let the dentist in his mouth. Brushing his teeth period is a battle, one we often lose.)