Thanks Lauliza. I know this is all because of my issues. I know a "normal" person isn't just devastated to find out their therapist doesn't love them like family. Probably a normal person doesn't love a therapist like family either. It all makes sense to me, after crying about it for days. My mom was so mean (by the way I am a middle aged adult now) but she would go on rages explaining why I had no friends, calling me "fatty" and mocking me. I've just had such low self esteem and been so alone my whole life. Part of me thinks people like me should kill ourselves because the damage is just too much and to get back at the people who treated us like crap... not that I will do that, but the emotions run that deep, so deep I barely care whether I live or die.