....sorry to take up your time....but I have to talk......my emotions of self worthlessness are taking over now...mostly because I was harshly reprimanded in the chat room for "hogging" it all day.....and being overly dramatic and an attention *****....

I thought the chat was there for people to talk to like minded peers about things they have problems with......but whenever I do....it's "She's hogging all the attention"....."such a drama queen"....

When they suggest ways to better myself....offer advice...it's stuff I can't actually do.....i.e. getting out of the house when I am unable to drive, or take a bus, or have family take me places......HOW THE HELL CAN I GET OUT MORE? TELL ME?!?!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

Oh, and exercise....I understand it releases endorphins and all that...I really do, but I'm limited to what I can physically do due to severe asthma...and especially right now, as I have a cold....

FOR GOD'S SAKE.....THOSE AREN'T EXCUSES.........I LITERALLY CANNOT DO THOSE THINGS FOR REASONS THAT ARE BEYOND MY CONTROL.....so stop acting like I am making excuses.....(sorry....I was told I make too many excuses too, and am tired of that accusation).

Now......I just want to curl up in a ball and disappear. Or maybe......just go do something more...I dunno....permanent.....

But noooooo, I'd be guilt tripping and manipulating people........I can't even be depressed without feeling bad about it.....

Please though....don't give me pity.....I hate that stuff......it's stupid.....and meaningless.....

I...sorry. This is probably why I don't have any friends.....or why nobody wants to hang around with me......

...well I'm tired of it....just so very god damned tired.....