How can I get back at my deceased brother for killing himself and destroying what little there was of this messed up family?

It's been over 10 years now and I'm still sick of how sick he was in his mind. I've read his diaries, which are full of anxiety, depression, shameful self-absorption and on and on and on.

I'm not just p***ed at him, though. I'm p***ed at myself and my parents for being so damned clueless as to what to do for him.

Well, enough boo-hoo out of me. I must get on with my life. Things have been bad enough. Must make things better.

I feel for those who have lost a family member like this. It's undescribable what it does to people.

Think I'll punch myself in the ***s now.

Have a nice whatever.