" i just want to scream" you say

well, what is stopping you ?

Regardless of what your mother has you thinking, it is your life to live, not hers.

If what you are saying about her is true and an accurate portrayal of what is happening, then you need to take action.

Your mother has invested heavily into keeping you in a state of child-like dependence.

Any threat to her authority/influence over sends her off the deep end. Having a girlfriend is, to her, the ultimate betrayal.

I sense that you never rebelled during your teenage years, or in the years since.

I also sense that you have a poor self image and look to others for guidance and validation. Your mother holds the titles of primary caregiver, authority figure, room-mate and confidante. She has way too much influence over you.

When you try to gain a little bit of space (going back to the pool) she pushes back by informing you that she is going to go with you. She doesn't ask, she tells you she is coming. Discussion over. Then you get mad. Then you rationalize by thinking "well, years ago she did mention...."

Don't you get tired of this? Aren't you bored?

This situation will never improve by itself, soon she will telling you who can be your friends, when you are allowed out to "play", etc.

Then she will start meddling in your career and so on.

Do you want to be in this situation in a year? 5 years?

Her mental illness, left untreated, will only get worse. It will drag you right down with her.

ONLY YOU can change this situation. ONLY YOU can live your life. Stop talking endlessly about what she did and put some VERBS in your sentences!

"life rewards action" Dr. Phil