Maybe I missed something, but I just feel like I took this whole thing a bit different (although I do understand people's interpenetration). I guess I just see the whole T saying that it would benefit him to continue to work with the op as his way of saying that doing therapy can have a benefit for the therapist too. It sounds to me like he was just committed to confronting whatever issues came up for him as the therapy progressed, and that he would be dealing with those issues in his own therapy. But I always assume that I help my therapist somehow with her own issues by allowing her to treat me. But maybe that's just me.

However, I totally understand not wanting to stay. It might upset me to know exactly what issues my T was getting help with by treating me. I think I would just always worry weather I was really befitting her. So I think its generally best that those things stay in a black box, and the most I ever want to know is that the box is in the room. I honestly think you T should have just said, "I'm sorry I was having some countertransference that related to my past. I'm working it out in my own therapy now, and I think that it would be good for both of us if we continued our work together, I'm sorry I stopped therapy so suddenly, that was a mistake."

But the fact that he didn't respond to the email speaks volumes to me. I take it that he wasn't really ok with you leaving, so he couldn't say anything, and he might be overly enmeshed in the whole relationship. If your gut said to go, I really think that's best. I hope you can find a new more reliable T.