I would also suggest some work on being diplomatic. Not something that I was ever good at....when I saw something wrong I jumped all over it & had no diplomacy in dealing with it.....but I think it was because I saw so many things wrong in my life that I really didn't want to deal with it with diplomacy & I definitely didn't want to keep my mouth shut especially when the wrong things were in my marriage & were directly effecting me.

I think that picking the battles is a good idea...like if your gut tells you that something is bad....determine first how it will effect you & then determine if it's something you really need to bother about or if it's something you can just let go without it bothering you or anyone else in any serious way.

I was in the middle of a trauma that & was trying to actually figure out what was happening & my gut feeling said that something serious was going on.....it ended up being a very scary situation & I lived through it & protected my mother as best as I could but in my protecting my mom, I destroyed the evidence that the police could have used...but sometimes we have to use our gut feeling & the actions it brings.....as I was also told to back off because it would end up destroying me if I didn't....that just made me more angry & more determined NOT to back off.

The point is that every situation is different & all we can do is analyze each situation & handle it in the best way possible using our wise mind....which is putting emotional & logical together & coming up with the best possible solution & just go with it & accept the consequences if you know what you did was right.

Things in my marriage I'm sure I could have handled in a more diplomatic way...but after so many years...I didn't have any diplomacy left toward my H......but since leaving him 7 years ago....I have been working on my diplomacy & dealing much better & actually not saying things or saying them in a much nicer way that gets the other person to think (something that never worked with my H in the first place).

Diplomacy is like....."when this happens this is how it makes me feel......."