There are of course things you cannot change - as a young person the so called wasted years cannot be so very many, and were they really completely wasted? I find that people seldom are as bad as they feel. They despair over their struggles. But I can often see persistence, courage, endurance and many good or praiseworthy things as they deal as best they can with difficult (very difficult I expect) situations.

I hope your illness does not incapacitate you, and that your therapy gives you insight into how you can make the best of what one trusts will be along life. At 58 I don't statistically don't have that many years, but I am investing in therapy to try to make the best of them.