It's important because the boundaries and longing and pulling close-pushing away takes place in many forms in other relationships out in the real world. It becomes the pattern of our lives and we keep on ending up feeling alone and isolated, abandoned and betrayed. We don't recognize that we're often the ones doing the rejecting when people don't read our minds, give us what they have no power to give us, take care of themselves first, get annoyed or act plain clueless.

It's often not safe to talk about it with people who don't know us well or who have their own agenda about what they want from us or are clueless. We keep getting in these push-pull situations were we long to feel close to someone and then end up pushing them away and then feeling awful and hurt about it.

Therapy is the safe place to learn to understand that, to see the patterns in our lives and begin the process of changing it. It's not about your relationship with just your T. It's about your life. I think. Pretty sure. It's about recognizing our patterns and learning how to change the patterns that keeping causing us pain.