In the same boat as you. I just don't have kids to deal with, fortunately. The best way that I learned to cope and handle all of this was to get a really good therapist that I see on a weekly basis to teach me how to. I also listened, heeded and followed the advice of my doctor and psychiatrist when it came to medications (not random and often misguided people from the internet). Working with stable people who don't have mental illnesses was my first step in the right direction. Following their advice to the letter was the second. Continuing to follow their advice for years was the third. Still following their advice was the forth.

As far as wanting to do impulsive things...the advice my therapist gave me was to wait and if it still made sense to do it tomorrow, then go ahead. Saved my butt a lot of times with that helpful hint. I also run ideas past people to get their thoughts and see just how idiotic I am actually being at the moment. A good therapist can work with you to identify ways of managing impulses, urges, how to evaluate needs and get through everyday life. The old saying of feed a man a fish vs. teach a man to fish... you need to learn how to fish. Learn how to fish from professionals.

In terms of medications, people here can give you their experiences with meds and such, but think about who you are getting advice from, me included. This group represents a very, very, very, small and quite frankly biased group of people when it comes to meds. Trust your doctors and the hundreds of thousands and thousands of other people not here who have had success on the meds they want you to try.