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I feel anxious, etc. around ANYONE drunk -- my brother, father, son-in-law, etc. So I see it as my problem, something I need to deal with and get a grip on by possibly changing my attitude or trying to learn new ways to think about alcoholics. They are not all going to hurt me.
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One question seems to me to be whether people must simply accept and adjust to significant others who are frequently drunk, or whether there can be an expectation that significant others will not get frequently drunk. What is your thinking about this question?