I have PTSD so when this happens to me it can be very triggering tbh. I do have a lot of this in my personal history that came from people who had issues and were angry and took it out on me. Either that or another person decided my challenging emotions were unwarrented when the person had no experience or knowledge about me or what I did or achieved.

One of my sessions with my therapist was about how so many people I have come across are unable to see things from my POV at all or just be "respectful" at least. He told me that unfortunately a lot of people simply can't empathize and put themselves in the other person's shoes at all. He said that unfortunately there "are" some very selfish people out there in society and yes they can be "mean" and say nasty things and act like what they say that is worded in a demeaning and disrespectful way was nothing at all.

I tend to pay attention to others in a way where I look for things about the other person I can admire about them. If I get to know someone for a length of time and "listen" to that person long enough, I have no problem talking to the person for a couple of hours even where I can point out their positives that I admire. Since I have developed PTSD and have been working through how others have been selfish and at times even "bullied" me, I have done tests to where I can have a conversation with these people for quite some time and they are more than willing to spend that time as long as it is about their good points and satisfying their "ego". However, what I have noticed is these same people are very "incapable" of returning that same recognition to me.

For example; I got a call from my older sister on Monday and she said, "I need to vent" and began talking about "herself" and as she was doing that I find out that my older brother had a heart attack and is in the hospital. I have learned that I need to listen to all about "her" and what "she" is going to do and that "if" I want the conversation to come to an end, all I have to do is talk about how "I" am affected. I do not think she would ever be truely capable of talking to me for even an hour where she can point out "my" positives.

When I had a stress breakdown because I really did suffer a great deal of loss due to my negligent neighbor, I ended up in a psych ward. I had gotten to a point where the loss was just so overwhelming that I suffered a post traumatic stress breakdown, however, I did not know what that was. I was so bad I could not stop shaking, even now, when I am stressed I shiver as though I cannot get warm at all. My sister came in to visit me and basically yelled at me while I sat across from her "shaking" and exhausted. She basically told me to "put on my big girl panties and act like an adult" or I would lose everything, my marriage, my farm, everything. She did not even try to sit next to me and give me a hug or comfort me AT ALL. I ended up spending Thanksgiving in that awful place sitting at a table eating hospital type food surrounded by strangers that were very confused and heavily medicated and mentally ill and some even pretty damn scary.
All the while my older sister had "her" wonderful Martha Stewart Thanksgiving gathering and NO ONE even came to see or visit "me" that day.

When she talked to me about my older brother and how "awful" hospital food is, I think about that Thanksgiving where that food "socked" and how abandoned I felt. Oh, how I wanted so badly to say how much I really "know" all about "hospital food" and also being "scared and lonely and feeling abandoned" too. However, it would be a waste of time and effort as the conversation would abruptly end.

November and the holidays are always very "hard" for me. It is when I found out that in spite of my "caring and listening and comforting others" in my life, in my need, I was abandoned and treated as though I was very wrong to have struggled so much because I suffered so much loss of living animals that I really loved very much due to someone's out right negligence.

Yes, my older brother is in the hospital and he has a slow bleed inside him they can't seem to find, and when I talk to my older sister, the conversation is all about "her" and again how she is the only one that is "in charge" yet again and how it is "all about her" and what she is doing. I wanted to send my brother some flowers or something, but, unfortunately I have no credit on my credit cards because they are basically closed while I keep trying to pay on the debt created from my negligent neighbor's dog where I had so many veterinary expenses. I am on a hardship program because I could not pay the monthly payments, so I have no credit. But she sent him flowers and a stuffed animal, it would have been nice of her to at least say it was "from all the family with love", but no, instead it is "all about her" and yes she acts like it is "nothing".

OE