That is a very interesting observation, about the MRI.

It sounds like your perspective on relationships, at least with an alcoholic, is that you accept the person as he is, as a whole, and stay with him, or else you reject that whole and don't stay. You don't try to change the person.

Still, there are times when you have difficulty and get upset. When that happens, there is at least one option between the poles of stay-and-do-nothing versus get-up-and-leave.

You do have the option of telling him, in a sober moment, how much you love him but also how much certain behaviors upset you. Maybe you have already done this. The idea is that by speaking you allow him the opportunity to decide to want to change. You don't demand change, you just inform him of how you feel.

You could also make about more than your own feelings. Heavy drinking is bad for health.You might tell him how concerned you are about his health, for him and for you.

These are just some ideas that may or may not seem useful to you. The concept of something like Alanon is that people in similar situations can share what has worked and not worked for them. If Alanon isn't appropriate, you might look into Smart Recovery, or Women for Sobriety. These both are self-help programs but they do also have online message forums and they may have, or may be able to guide you to, ideas for living with an alcoholic.