Thank you for everyone's input, suggestions and reassurance. First, in no way will I appreicate my son any less, or love him differently. Of all the things I wuestion if I did right, I know he is loved and he is told numerous times a day he is loved. It's really just so I can gain some understanding, and of course, I am trying to just get a head start.

He is only 2, it was recommended by his doctor that he sees a speech pathologist as she is quite concerned of his communicational skills (or lack of). Of course it did not help he had a melt down because he wanted to play with the light switch, somethng he does at home, and well, it would be awkward to talk to the doctor in the dark, so I wouldn't let him.

He was going to be going to a group evaluation setting with 3 other kids and their families, but after the phone assessment (that they did with my husband as I wasn't available :/ ) they changed it to a one on one. That is alllllllll the way one Dec 31. This evil will determine if he is just delayed or if he could be somewhere on the spectrum.

I don't care if he is autistic, honestly, I see it in my husband to a degree. I am just dealing with a lot of my own struggles right now with multiple diagnosis, that one thing on top seems over whelming and if he is not on the spectrum, it means he has developmental delays, and tho I know all kids develope at different times, it is hard not to self blame by not talking to him enough, or playing with him, or teaching him...