Quote:
Originally Posted by Bill3
It sounds like your perspective on relationships, at least with an alcoholic, is that you accept the person as he is, as a whole, and stay with him, or else you reject that whole and don't stay. You don't try to change the person.
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In my previous marriage, I
did try to change him -- to no avail, a waste of time. That marriage was a rollercoaster -- good years, bad months, etc. During the last 4 years, he started doing speed with the alcohol, became very abusive. I had broken ribs/nose, burned hands, and more. I had to leave or he'd have killed me.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bill3
You do have the option of telling him, in a sober moment, how much you love him but also how much certain behaviors upset you.
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That has worked in the past. I have left letters on the kitchen table for him to read when he gets up -- and still sober. It's too hard to talk to him in person as he interrupts or veers the subject to something else. I can clarify my feelings better in writing -- no interruptions -- rather than talking in person. The other day, I was composing a letter to him about the issue but he was acting his usual loving self and I decided the letter could wait, see how he does this weekend.
I have brought up the health issue but he scoffs at the idea, laughs about it, won't take the issue seriously. I guess he thinks 60 is too young to worry about health problems. ???
Thank you for the suggestions. I did check into both sites but don't feel either one is right for me.