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alexandra_k said:
hmm... i have fantasies sometimes... i remember that initially i didn't find him particularly good looking even though i found his body type attractive. he gets better looking every day though, i swear! lol.

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Yes, this is exactly it! He gets better looking every time I see him. It's absolutely ridiculous, lol. Except I got mad when he ditched his glasses becuase I found them quite becoming on him.

Interesting how some of us have the erotic transference stuff, and others have the father figure thing going on.

In response to Sidony and Sunrise, unfortunately, knowing that someone is married has not stopped me before, lol. T does know that I have been with a married man before (when I was single, that is).

I definitely don't look towards T as a father figure. I just have this idealistic view (how unusual for me, lolol), of what it would be like to be with him everyday, to go to sleep next to him, to %#@&amp;#! him, to love him, and have him love me, to have him find me attractive, to have him want me. (Damn, I'm really going here, lol).

Here's something embarrassing (as if I haven't made enough of a fool of myself already):

I look at his wedding ring, and I %#@&amp;#! hate that he is married. I hate his wife. I have made up this fantasy that she is an evil, ugly woman and that he really hates her, too. That he only wears the ring because they are married, but he's really in the process of trying to rid himself of her.

Other times I pretend he wears the ring to make his patients think he's married, but he's really not.

How could I ever tell him such things?

T: Hi So what's been going on this week?
Me: Hi. Not much. Just that sometimes I want to rip your wedding ring off and %#@&amp;#! you. Oh, and I hate your wife, too. I'll bet she's an evil old hag.

I don't think so!!