"Either we are together, or we are done for good."

As soon as my girlfriend told me this, I knew we were done, and told her okay. Like your situation, it was coming from a long line if emotional abuse that was hard to see and extricate myself from.

End it. Pay attention to how he reacts and treats you, it will be a good look into his soul. If it was meant to be, he will try to work with you on these issues. If he attacks you and threatens you, says, "you'll never find anyone else like me," (WE HOPE NOT!) and makes YOU the villain, you know where you stand. These feelings didn't just appear, he always had them, and was waiting for the moment to use them against you.

I must also stress that you shouldn't be running from one relationship to another. THIS IS THE WORST IDEA. I've been popping into threads like this all day and a common thread I've seen (especially in 2nd marriages) is that the couple rushed into dating/marriage less than 6 months after a serious breakup.

They say that the rule is to be single 1 month for every 2 months you were in a relationship. For you, it would be 4 years, which is a long time, but I would absolutely wait at least 6 months to a year before rushing into something else. You should take some time and figure out what it is you want in a relationship, and can have casual sex with anyone in the meanwhile.