Oh, Honey,
I really do understand how you feel. I am only beginning to experience agoraphobia.
That is, I've experienced anxiety and depression for 20 years witth occasional panic attacks which became more and more common.
In the past couple of years, I've had a lot of trouble leaving the house, sometimes for ANY reason, including taking out the trash if I think anyone will be out and about and see me.
Let me tell you, ANY progress IS progress. It really is. I struggle to give myself credit for the things I CAN do.
Believe me, Mother's Day was a living hell, and I'm not going to lie, wine played a big part in helping me get through it, but I had A HUGE PANIC ATTACK/ breakdown when it was over. I hated myself. I cried and cried, completley ALONE.
The thing is, I look back on that weekend and all of the times I went out and acted like nothing was wrong, and I think "you are one brave chick, even If no one else thinks so,"
*I* know so, and that counts for something...beause *I* count for something.
No one knew what I was going through that weekend, but I got through it. I didn't just lose my mind and go ballistic. I maintained my cool, on my own, and that is a step forward that I can remember taking, even though I may take a step back
So, baby, YOU ARE ONE BRAVE CHICK! I'm proud of you. Bravo! You go, girl. Give yourself credit, and give yourself hope.
We are with you, girl!