Just wanted to to...talk about something that happened tonight. My neighbor two doors away, her son was just killed in a car accident. Just maybe a week ago I spoke to this son. He stopped by I guess to visit his mom and parked where I normally park. Okay. A little annoyed but....it was great to see him. He shared that he had been married for a year in November. In a teasing manner I joked I was going to give his mother a spanking for not telling me. Then I proceeded to congratulate him and I game him a giant hug. Tonight, about 5:30 PM I found out from my twin( I live in a Twin House) neighbor that the son I had just been speaking with a few days ago died in a car accident. In fact the services were from 1 to 6PM today. Of course I thought it must be a mistake. Then as the information sunk in, I began to feel especially bad and alone in my grief. Why did not the neighbor share the news with me? I had spoken to her before the son came home, and asked how her Mother was doing, because she had been in the hospital, then I asked how she herself was doing since she injured her leg. All seemed friendly and okay. I do not know how to interpret this.....this oversight? I felt somewhat connected to these neighbors but the feelings were not mutual. Hurt at the loss of this young man and the potential he had before him, hurt that perhaps I am being shunned as a neighbor, hurt suffering the loss of this young man alone. Stupidly I feel so so so alone. I have no friends. And the slight from the neighbor hurts all the more. Sure she was grief stricken. Perhaps not informing us..my mother and myself.. was the only way she could keep her composer. Yet,
I want to withdraw from this neighbor now. Her actions make me feel unworthy.