Thanks. I guess I can calm down about the dual relationship stuff, though occasionally there are reports in the journals I get of disciplinary action for dual relationships so that's what alerted me to it. He is not covered by the same legal and ethical standards that I am. Also we have openly discussed this aspect of change in our relationship and he has been very good about not wanting to influence me or otherwise affect me in ways that wouldn't be right. I have just said I have a mind of my own and other types of training and research that influence me so he doesn't have to worry about how his "mentoring" could be wrongly construed. I used to be a professor and already have a doctorate and another profession behind me so he knows that I'm solid that way.

The video is probably out of bounds. He said at first it was an accident that happened when he was trying to respond to my text, but then that he thought he'd let me see him in the morning hours. Yes, he is married. And yes, years ago there was some erotic energy that was worked through. No, I wouldn't tell anyone who posted here about such a thing that it was therapeutically okay.

But on deeper consideration I think something is happening between us that is changing our relationship and that is in keeping with this particular school of analysis which endorses self-disclosure and co-creation of experience, including the analyst's ability to transform along with the patient which is hardly even considered in most therapies. I think he may be feeling closer but not clear about how to express that since he may be experiencing at a removed level. He is a person who is very embodied, a former hippie free spirit type, and very masculine, proudly so. He has lived in alternative communities most of his life, including clothing optional communes and encounter groups, and even though so professional and aging now, he still acts as if he is in that lifestyle. I now think that even if inappropriate, I can understand that he is trying to express part of himself and that it is not intended to harm me or even by yucky, even if it seems that way. I don't think he has had a patient turn around so radically and become like an independent thinker about his own speciality. There is a closeness like we are inside each other right now that I actually think is okay as a transitional phase, and perhaps his way of handling that is to displace it to more physical things. But I'll keep an eye on it since it does seem out of bounds and I would never do that to a client or think it was therapeutic. I wouldn't even do that with a close friend, but then I'm very disembodied and not willing to be that open about physicality.