((((((((((((((Fried))))))))))))))))). I am very sorry to hear of this loss. Please dont blame yourself. I can relate to some degree. My cousin commited suicide a few years ago. Nobody saw the signs. It is really hard to lose someone this way. You have every right to feel angry. Have you ever been to grief counseling? Maybe this could help with the stages of the grieving process. It sounds like your brother was very sick but its not your fault!!!

Take care and hang in there.

Love Justy