I think I'm having a bit of a lightbulb moment right now.
I've been going to therapy with the intention of tackling the complex ptsd stuff but the relationship stuff always gets in the way, my fear of attaching, bonding, trusting my therapists triggers huge reactions in me. The work of dealing with the actual trauma memories slows down because of it.
So.... I wonder if when I go interview therapists that I explain that to them it might make them better informed in how to help me??? hmmmm